Ted

Ted the snake is a ball python, who is probably about a year old.

Ted has mites.

Mites suck. Mites suck Ted's blood and make Ted an unhappy snake. Poor little guy.

My better half and I have been attempting to rid Ted of the mites. This is a tedious task.

or should I say Ted-ious.

First, you bathe the snake in water and the first 50 or so mites fall off, drowning a terrible and much deserved death.

Second, you bathe the snake in a mixture of water and betadine to tend the wounds left by the mites.

Third, you find some suitable place for the snake while you clean out the terrarium with a mixture of bleach and water (after first dumping the substrate and anything else in the terrarium.

Fourth, you put the snake back in the clean terrarium.

Fifth, you later pick up the snake, hoping that the mites are gone and realize that there are still mites crawling all over the snake.

Fifth, you bathe the snake in water to drown the mites.

Sixth, you bathe the snake in a mixture of betadine and water.

Seventh, you clean the terrarium with a mixture of bleach and water.

and so on.

We are on about Twentieth: you pick up the snake and realize there are still mites crawling all over him.

Mites Suck.