Middle School Boys

I'm going to rosin your bow.

I'm going to lick your lollipop.

I'm going to Sponge your Bob.

I'm going to shake your spear.

I'm going to tater your tots.

Unless you read the title of this blog, you probably didn't think anything about the seemingly innocuous sentences above. Just silly stuff.

However, seeing as today was the last day of school, and seeing as I agreed to allow my sixth-grade son (well, honestly I suppose they are officially seventh-graders now) to invite "some friends" over for an all-night rock band/scary movie party, you can imagin where this blog might be headed.

It all started with the snacks I had to offer. Big friend entered the kitchen and said, "Oooo. I've never had a twinkie!"

"Well, hey -- have a twinkie. Break all the boundaries. Try something new," I said as I was unpacking the groceries.

"Huh huh huh." It was an under-the-breath-giggle from Big Friend. "Twinkie."

And before I knew it I said, "Oh hey -- I also have some Ding Dongs. You want some?"

"Huh huh huh. Ding Dongs. Huh huh huh. I think I'll have one Twinkie and two Ding Dongs, huh huh huh." His face turned bright red as he stifled a full-fledged laugh.

"Oh man." I said. "Seriously. I forgot about you guys and your euphemisms."

Big Friend ran into the living room to share with Little Friend and Cool Skater Friend, "Guys -- you want a Twinkie? I'm going to have one Twinkie and two Ding Dongs!

I'm going to plump your pillows.

I'm going to grill your hotdog.

I'm going to flip your switch.

"Let's do your mama jokes"

"No dude. Stephen's mom is sitting right over there!"

"Yeah, she's totally not going to go for that."

Ha. I could tell them some "Your Mama" jokes that would make them turn all shades of red.  But I won't.  For today, I will act shocked and freaked out about their euphemisms, and just be thankful that they feel the liberty to say them in front of me.  I would say I feel "honored", but that's taking it a bit too far.  Just thankful.  And I hope they always do feel comfortable talking freely in front of me.

. . . I think. . .